The New Neighbours

UGH! They only moved in on Sunday and already I have had enough of them! I have never even seen them!

Sunday afternoon a truck pulled up and they unloading began. To say that I hadn’t seen them might be wrong. There were six guys unloading the truck so one of them might be living there.

I went out and when I returned they were still unloading and that is when I saw them unloading a drum set, guitar and amp…sigh. Later that evening we were getting ready for bed and they were in their backyard clanging beer bottles. There were lots of beer bottles and lots of clanging. As I crawled into bed, I had to get up and close the window as I didn’t know how much longer that was going to go on for.

On Monday when I got home from work, their car was not there but I found out that apparently they have a dog. I know this because the dog barked continually for 2 ½ hours until they came home. By continually, I mean continually. After the owners came home, again I didn’t see them, but their car was there, and the barking stopped.

Tuesday I came home to a whining dog. Non stop whining dog. The dog continued to whine all evening and into the night. At 10:00 when I went to bed, the dog was still whining. I couldn’t relax. I had trouble falling asleep. The poor dog had been there all night whining and nobody had been there for it.

The owners did arrive home about 11:00. How do I know this if I was sleeping?? Well they felt the need to ensure their car was locked by pressing the ‘lock’ button multiple times so that with each press came a piercing beep.

There were at least two people in the car because they were loudly talking and laughing as they walked from the car to the house.

Finally I fell back to sleep – no easy feat for me.

At 3:30am, my nose was assaulted by the strong smell of smoke. They were outside their unit smoking and the smoke was coming directly into our room. Out of bed to close the window – none to quietly!

Again trouble getting back to sleep.

Lets see what today brings...

Neighbours

Neighbours...Sigh...

We have a neighbour - well many of them. This particular neighbour of which I speak is driving me nuts. Well not really them, but their car.

Their car you ask?

It seems in the last couple of weeks, their car horn has a mind of its own. The horn arbitrarily honks - actually honks is a very mild word - it is more like SCREAMS at any time of day or night.

This morning I was LOUDLY awoken by their horn at 6:45am. NOT NICE! The other night it was 3:15am. This one had me slamming on the alarm clock thinking it was telling me to get up. There have been 11:25pm er's and 4:15pm er's. These are just ones that I have been home for and kept track of. Who knows how many others their have been that I haven't been around for.

Tonight at 7:30pm the horn was blaring again. I-HAD-HAD-ENOUGH! I marched over to their house and rang the doorbell and waited. I rang the doorbell again...and waited. They didn't answer the door!! WHAT?? I KNOW that they are home.

Next step - ambush them out by their car!!

I don't think I am being unreasonable with being woken up on NUMEROUS occasions but something MUST be done or my sanity will suffer - well suffer more than it has in the last little while!

What Now...

Things just keep getting better and better financially with us over here!!

As you may recall from the previous post, our agency has demanded $1200/year to "maintain" our adoption file. Still a bit sketchy on what they need to do and the number of staff they need to do it but whatever...

And now, the condo that we live in has advised us of a special assessment that is required of each home to fix the water mains in the entire complex. The bill for that is $6000!! per unit.

Husband didn't get a raise this year with the economy and all. We are wanting to move to a new house - still are required to pay the $6000 before we do. Don't know if the move will ever happen now.

Expenses have increased and the money is flying out the window faster than ever before.

Our agency is going to have to wait for their money, else a lien will be placed against my house.

Things suck when you have to choose between a house and a family. However, if there is no house for the family to live in, what is the point?

Sorry for the bitchy post - I am in a bitchy mood!!

You Can't be Serious!!

In January 2006 we began our journey to our daughter from China.

During that time, there have been many ups and downs in relation to our adoption. As time went on, the ‘downs’ significantly outweighed the ups.

A while ago – maybe a year or two – our agency instituted a new fee that they called an ‘administration fee’. They ‘sold’ the fee by saying that things in China were slowing down and they needed the money to develop and look into new programs in international adoption. I was furious. I really don’t care about other programs, I care about MY program. This admin fee was used to keep my file active also. My file is sitting on a shelf in China and has been since December 6, 2006. I honestly don’t know what they are required to do with my file over there.

Whatever…

On Friday afternoon – at 3:38pm, we – and others from our agency – received an e-mail from the board of directors informing us that the ‘admin’ fee has just been increased by 500% to $1200/year – EFFECTIVE MONDAY!!

OH YES!!

SOOO – The cost has increased 500% in the last two years – who is to say that it isn’t going to increase another 500% in the next year or the year after. Who is to say an ADDITIONAL $20,000 later there will be a baby at the end. Who is to say that after our agency has bled us dry we will be afford to travel to China. Who is to say that after this blackmail and if it gets paid, our agency goes bankrupt what then?

I am LIVID – that doesn’t even seem to be the word that fits. With an anticipated five year wait still ahead of us, that is an additional $6000 - at THIS point in time - on an adoption that may or may not even happen!!!

There were no cost cutting measures added or included with the e-mail. No reductions in pay, no 4 day work week, no changing offices to pay less rent, no asking for volunteers instead of paying staff, no NOTHING – well except for the demand for money to cover whatever…

We can’t call and complain either, as they have been instructed (and this started a while ago) to not talk to clients if they get irate – they are told to hang up on us. They apparently don’t have to deal with the problems caused by anything.

So what happens to our file if our agency DOES go under? Anyone know? Right now I am not sure that I care about any of it anyway. Anyone else had additional fees instituted by their agency?

AAGGGHHHH!!!!

Yesterday, dinner, snow etc...

Yesterday, Mark and I decided to order pizza for dinner. We also decided to try a different place then we usually order from.

It started snowing here.

I ordered the pizza. They gave me a 40 minute guarantee or it was free.

At 35 minutes, the phone rang. It was the pizza delivery guy. He said there was an accident and that it wasn't his fault that he couldn't get to the house. He told me where he was and since that didn't make any sense based on where the pizza place was, I questioned as to WHY he was where he was.

He then said that he has another delivery first and that he had been sitting at the accident scene for more then 10 minutes.

I questioned as to the quality of the pizza if he made another delivery, sat at an accident scene and still didn't arrive at our home for another 10 minutes (that last part was after).

He responded by YELLING at me that the pizza was in a BAG and it would still be hot. He also said that the weather was not his fault. I said I realized that, but that the company should not give a delivery guarantee in bad weather - but they did.

I waited another 5 minutes and then called the company. I told them that my pizza was not here yet, this was the first time I had ordered and their delivery guy YELLED at me on the phone telling me that it wasn't his fault that the pizza was late. I also expressed that that would likely be the LAST time that I ordered from them.

The pizza was free. It was also cold and not very good. Apparently the BAG didn't work very well...

I am also VERY sure that we will NEVER order from them again...

Noise

I don’t like noise…never have.

Recently I have noticed that car manufacturers INSIST on making noise with the car locking systems.

There are some cars that, no matter what you do, will make the beep/squeak sound when you lock your door with the automatic locker thing.

Marks car for instance, when you pop the trunk or lock the car gives you the SQUEAK that sounds like a monkey getting castra*ted. Not that I have ever heard that, but that is what I would think it would sound like.

My car, on the other hand, will just flash the lights if any door is open and you lock the doors.

I have noticed (AND HEARD) many of our neighbours cars automatically beep/squeak when they lock them. Some of them like to lock their cars at 3:00am.

It is incredibly irritating.

I would love it if ALL car manufacturers changed their car locking system so that the lights would flash when you locked the car. That way you could SEE that it is locked and that the rest of the neighbourhood wouldn’t have to HEAR that your car is locked.

That is my vent of the day.

I HATE PEOPLE!

Thats it.

Thats the post.

Just felt the need to express that.

Of course - there are some that I hate more then others and at this particular moment - there are a few at the TOP of the list.

O.k. there are some that are not even on the list...not many though!

Smoker Chick

I know I have spoken of “smoker chick” at work before. She spends too much time away from her desk and outside smoking. It frustrates me – ESPECIALLY when she is behind in her work and the boss asks me to help her!!! But that story is for another time…

Today’s story is about ‘smoker chick’ and being away from her desk. It is not just me who notices her absence. My other co-workers do as well. It is a sticky situation – it really is none of our business – it should be the supervisor who says something…he doesn’t see these things. SIGH….

So the other day, I was FRUSTRATED – she had already been gone from her desk fro 28 minutes – I happened to glance at my watch when she left. So I was composing an e-mail to a co-worker – he and I think along the same lines.

The e-mail went like this…She has been on her smoke break for 28 minutes already.

I GUESS I had HER on my mind when I was addressing the e-mail and I SENT IT TO HER!!!!

OMG – too late now…

When she got back to her desk, she asked – “What is this”. Now I had to make a quick decision – I chose to be adult about it (ignoring the bitchy e-mail to the co-worker complaining in the first place – lol)

I replied that I didn’t mean to send that to her, however, MANY people have noticed the amount of time that she is away from her desk – not just me. I told her that she should watch herself as people are starting to talk about it.

She tried to explain – I said I didn’t want to hear it.

She replied FINE! FINE! FINE! and she hasn’t spoken to me since then.

I am o.k. with the not talking to me part!!

**update** I should clarify that I used to smoke and take smoke breaks etc, but NEVER for 35 minutes (that was the total when she finally came back) and I didn't get behind on my work because of it AND - we are not talking about me - we are talking about SmokerChick!!

Bad Week??

I must have had a bad week. When I go back and read what I have written...

In my next life/next job - I am going to be a Driving Tester. One of those people who test people to get their drivers licences.

I can tell you - there will be a LOT less stupid and oblivious drivers on the road! A LOT LESS!

I am pissed...

I am on the Board of Directors for our condo corporation. In fact I have just been voted on to the board again for a 3rd term. This will be my 7th year on the board. I have been PRESIDENT for 6 of those 7 years.

I enjoy being on the board. I want to know where my condo fees are going. I want to have a say on what happens here. I want to be in 'the know'...

I however am on ONE member of the board. I cannot make a solo decision. Everything needs a majority from the members of the board. There are 5 members so that means that 3 of them have to agree to pass something. On my own I cannot do anything. I am a member of this community. When I am not 'working' on the board I am just a resident - just like everyone else.

Our corporation is run by a Property Management company. We pay them to do the 'dirty work' basically. We tell them what we want and they do it. They do a GREAT job. We do not hover. We have had NO REASON to ever question them.

Because I am a member of the board, I get MUCH unwanted conversation in my direction. I have people knowing on my door asking questions, wanting clarification for things, sharing their concerns etc. They stop me as I am getting out of my car, hands full of groceries. The corner me when I am running across to my sisters house in my comfy clothes for a gab. I am generally good with this. I know that it helps them to understand what is going on. It helps them that someone is listening and it helps them that someone is going to raise their issues to the board.

However - there is a point in time when i am SICK of it!! Like today for instance....

I came home from work to find a letter in my mailbox from a member of the community. This is not unusual, but today's letter pissed me off. I was personally attacked and the person who wrote the letter stated that as a member of the Board I should be setting an example and not be an offender of this particular NON violation. Not that I disagree, however there are circumstances as to WHAT she was referring to. What she is referring to is not in our rulebook. It is not set in stone. She is NOT the judge of me. I guarantee you that she did NOT put a letter in everyone else's mailbox who were offenders of this NON rule - guarantee it!

I am pissed. Mark is pissed. She does not know what she speaks of, yet we are both boiling inside.

I have contacted the Property manager. He will attend and pick up the offensive letter from my mailbox and craft a response to lady and send it from the corporation. I am DONE dealing with her. She has NEVER had anything nice to say EVER and all she ever does is bitch - hands are clean - I am DONE with her.

I am better now - just needed to get that off my chest...PHEW!!

Sigh...

Here is my bitch session:

We have had LOTS of snow recently - last week and this week. The snow is NOT a surprise. The news was reporting it everywhere. EVERYONE knew it was coming.

I - as the conscientious employee - sets my alarm earlier so that I have time to clean off my car and drive through the snow and the traffic to get to work at my normal time. I make the effort.

There are many in my office who DON'T change their routine and continually show up 20-40 minutes late. They don’t shorten their lunch. They don't stay later at the end of the day.

These people are also smokers. So not only do they show up late for work, they take MULTIPLE breaks in the morning AND the afternoon to smoke.

As far as I can tell - other then the health concerns for smoking, there are no consequences for their actions.

Why do I bother to get up early to get to work on time to do my job?? WHY??

Here is me who stays late and worries when I take 5 minutes longer for lunch.

I truly think that these people don't even think that they are doing anything wrong!!

Apparently it doesn't matter what time you show up. It doesn't matter how many breaks you take and it doesn't matter what you do while you are sitting at your desk holding your head up while staring at the internet!! AAGGHH!!!

To top things off - the boss might send everyone home early because of the weather. Well I start work at 7:00 and other people in the department are SUPPOSED To start at 8:00, but might show up at 8:40 - well at 2:45 he sends everyone home - GEE THANKS - 15 minutes for me and I was the ONLY one who showed up in time in the first place. So, while I worked 7hours 45 minutes, they worked 6 hours!!!

It is frustrating as I work in a union environment and everyone gets the same pay - no mater how much work you accomplish.

Sigh…

For Waiting Parents

For those Waiting Parents out there…

Do you ever get the impression that:

You don't have a brain.

That your opinions don't count.

That you can't POSSIBLY know how to handle a situation involving kids.

Do you get the 'you won't say that when you have your own'.

Or the 'Just you wait'.

And just the general overall feeling that you have nothing to offer when there is a situation involving kids…

There was one time that I was with a group of people and we were talking about kids and this one woman turned to me and asked how old my kids were. I said I didn't have kids. She literally turned her back to me and didn't address me or acknowledge me for the rest of the event.

This is just one example but there are MANY situations - both from friends and family alike…

I just don't even know how to put into words how that all makes me feel. It is a horrible feeling and I am sure (I hope) that the people making me feel this way don't even realize what they are doing or saying.

I'd just like to point out that I am QUEEN of biting my tongue when other people's kids are involved. I don't say anything UNLESS they are asking me about it, the kids are going to hurt themselves or the kids are in my home.

I want to scream at all these people and say - don't you think I wish I had my kids too.

Then there is the group of people who say things like:

Enjoy your freedom now - you won't have any when you have kids

Travel now - you won't be able to when you have kids

Get your socializing in now - you won't be able to do it when you have kids

Do you want my kids for a night - that will curb your desire of wanting to have kids

I want to scream to these people: Do you not think that I want to experience these things for myself and decide home much we are going to do with our kids. Where we are going to travel as a family and perhaps, don't you think that I am MORE THEN READY to EXCHANGE my 'freedom' (I hate when people say that because it implies that your children are a 'chore' - I like spontaneity) for parenthood.

AAGGGHH!!!

Venting on this topic completed...for now!

BTW - I am good now with the meds - all is well!!

**UPDATE** Thoughts, Reflections and Snippits of my Day!

When you are in line to pay for something, have your money or piece of plastic ready. You ARE going to have to pay for it. It is NOT going to be free. Don't be surprised when the cashier asks for the money.

If you chose to drive slow or slower then the posted limit, do so in the SLOW lane. NOT in fast lane. MOVE OVER!!!

If you are in any sort of CUSTOMER SERVICE field - WANT to be there - OR - find a new profession.

When you are in retail - talk to your friends on your own time - NOT when you are supposed to be doing something for me.

Make sure that if you are bitching about a customer, who is only aksing for what the sign says, make sure she is OUT of ear shot before you start.

Serve food in ALL food service areas as it should be. If it should be hot - serve it hot! If everyone returned or complained about the wrong food, companies would soon learn to stop serving it like that.

DO - put a space after a comma and TWO spaces after a period at the end of a sentence!

For Ontarians - Don't EVER lose your Red/White Health card. The Green ones are a PAIN!

Don't buy a car that doesn't have the horn in the middle of the steering wheel.

Don't let the 'blood sucker person' tell YOU which arm to take YOUR blood from 'cause they don't want to change the arm rest to the other side.

Don't forget to do a Purse meme when you are tagged.

DON'T ask me to fill out a satisfaction card when I am in this mood!

How was your day...

***UPDATE*** - Today I got home from my weekend away and my sister had brought in our mail for us. In the mail was a book of Tim Horton's gift certificates from 'The place that asked me to fill our a satisfaction card!' I must also mention that they called me at work the next day to see if there was something they could do better next time make my visit better!

Thoughts

I have really slacked off on posting lately. There are many reasons for this...

We have been busy - that is really not a reason - we are and have always been an incredibly busy couple. We are so lucky to have so many great friends and family that we are always on the go.

Another reason for the lack of posts is that there is really nothing to say...I am sure, as readers, you only want to read and see pictures of our friends and family so much and it is really not exciting to you. You are looking for something with substance and meaning or something funny and entertaining. Sometimes I just don't have it in me to post stuff when there is not substance to it. I am also one of the LEAST creative people that I know and I can't just whip off a thought provoking post or a really funny well written post either. I am MUCH better at communicating in person rather then the written word.

This blog is supposed to be about our adoption journey - well we are certainly taking the slow boat to China and things are progressing at a snails pace. There is nothing to report on the adoption front. Nothing is happening. I don't know when something will happen. No we will not get our baby before summer or Christmas. We probably wont get our baby before NEXT summer or Christmas. We are HOPING to get our baby for summer 2009!!! YES 2009! No I am not kidding. Yes I am serious. No there is nothing I can do to speed it up. Yes we're sure this is what we want. No we can't pursue two adoptions at the same time. Yes we would like a speed up. No there probably won't be a speed up. Yes the wait will continue to grow. No I don't have any new news.

Other reasons for the lack of posts is that I feel censored on this blog. I don't really say what I want to all the time. There are things that REALLY irritate me and thoughts I would love to express about this whole process that I can't voice in an open forum like this. I do worry about the 'blog police'. Even if I went password protected, there are things that I still wouldn't post about. These are things that I can only share with a select few and that I wouldn't be willing for those thoughts to be put on paper as I would fear the repercussions of those words. So as much as this is a journal of our adoption, our wait and our thoughts - this is a edited edition of the live version.

So there you have it - a little snippet of what is going on in my head these days. I am going to try to post more often, but if I don't I don't. Rest assured when there is "something to report" about the baby - I will post it here and you will hear about it - until that time, things might be a bit sporadic...

Shopping with a Wheelchair...

The other day I took a half day off work so that I could take mom Christmas shopping. She still has her cast/boot on and can’t drive or walk. Phil loaded up the wheelchair in the trunk and mom got in the car and off we went to the mall.

The mall is the only real option when you are in a wheelchair. Those big box stores like Heartland are really terrible when you have to get in and out of the car and walk outside in the elements to each store.

So we headed to Erin Mills Town Centre instead. We have a wheelchair parking pass which was good, but we had trouble finding a spot. Now I know that it is Christmas time, but I also know that some people have these passes and use them even when they don’t need to. Nothing erks me more (well yes there are other things that erk me more) then someone whipping into a wheelchair spot and bounding out of their car and jogging into the mall. To those people I ask – is the disability mental cause you had no trouble with physically...
(I do know that this last statement was wrong - HOWEVER, that is what I was feelling at the time and way too many people DO take advantage of other peoples wheelchair passes.)

Needless to say, we did find a parking spot. So I get the chair out and get mom all settled and into the mall we go. We wonder around to all sorts of stores and we are not having much luck in locating what it is that we are looking for.

Until you have taken someone shopping in a wheelchair, you have no idea how crowded stores are. There is no room for a chair in there. It is RIDICULOUS!! I do know that retailers what to get as much out on the floor as possible, but it is a safety hazard sometimes.

There was one particular store that we headed to. We went in and we knew it was a tight squeeze – that should have been our first clue!! I maneuver the chair around the displays, narrow aisles etc. Well we got near the back of the store and got stuck. Yes stuck. I couldn’t get me, mom and the chair turned around, there was stuff all over the floor, things sticking out from the shelves and I was at the end of my rope. I was getting frustrated at trying to get out of the store. I grabbed a box and ‘tossed’ it aside while saying (not in a quiet voice) that these F%$#*@ stores should be wheelchair accessible! I continued to think, but didn’t voice, that this is ridiculous that for health and safety concerns this should not be allowed and I was sure that there were fire code regulations being broken too!! Mom said, oh I can try and stand up so you can lift up the chair. THAT IS NOT THE POINT. What if she couldn’t stand? She shouldn’t have to. Everyone just stared at us. No one offered to help. No one tried to move some boxes NOTHING!

I finally got mom turned around, everyone in the store was staring. It was like on tv when everyone goes silent, they all stare even though everyone is not quite sure where to look and what to do…I can laugh about it now…

On the final turn of getting mom around and ready to walk out the store I hit a display that was on the crowded floor and it came crashing down – it just tipped over. I just kept walking right out of the store muttering under my breath at how horrible it all was.

While walking back into the mall, I was sure that someone was going to come and tap me on the shoulder and say – excuse me – you broke it you bought it and I would be the owner of a hundred of something that I didn’t need! They didn’t…a wise choice on their part given my mood at that particular moment!

Mom and I both made it home in one piece – just a little frazzled!!

My Rant...

I do know that wait time for referrals in China are increasing. I get that – what I don’t get is that 1 month ago when we were DTC, our agency told us that we would have about a 15 month wait from LID. I do also understand that this is their best guess. However, just TODAY we were told to expect an 18 month wait!!! If the wait keeps going up 3 months every month...I just can’t even start to think about that...

Not to harp on this (but I will anyway), in January of 2006 we were told that if we started THAT DAY our paper chasing, that we would have our baby by June 2007. I had a hard time with THAT wait...

Now, with everything crossed, we are HOPING that we will receive our referral by April of 2008 with travel in June of 2008...I don’t even want to talk about the Beijing Summer Olympics and how that will affect us – remember what happened in Korea when that that country hosted the Seoul Summer Olympics...

There was some explanation in our weekly newsletter from our agency about how the process works: As you know, families’ files are logged in some 2-4 weeks after their arrival in China. This becomes your LID or log in date. Files from agencies all over the world are recorded in similar fashion. On any given log in date, there could conceivably be hundreds of files recorded, as there are about 150 agencies working in China. For the CCAA, this LID is the only number that is meaningful. Our group numbers are largely irrelevant for it is your LID that is key.

Every month the CCAA looks at the number of children it has on file waiting for families. It then assesses how many families it can match that month, and the log in time frame covered. For instance if there are 500 children waiting, and 500 families files logged in over a two-week period, then that two weeks is the matching period. If there are three weeks of log in dates, then the matching time is three weeks. This matching process occurs once a month. Referrals are then sent out and there is no more matching until the next month. We have heard projected waits from 18-24 months. Realistically no one knows, not even CCAA, as no one can predict the number of children that will be waiting for families, and what other factors might arise to affect matching. Right now we are advising families in waiting to prepare for an 18-month wait from log in to referral.
So that is the latest news that I have on the wait times…When you couple that on top of the 3 years it has already been trying to expand our family...I just didn’t imagine becoming a mother for the first time this late in life...AAARRRRGGGGHHH!!!

While I am on this rant, I might as well also say that how come the American people who adopt from China get to go to China up to 3-4 weeks earlier to get their babies then Canadians?? There are some families who received a referral on November 2nd and they will be home before the end of the year with their babies and some Canadian families who got a referral the same day don’t even depart for China until January???? How is the process so different for each country?

I am happy for the people that have recently received their referrals – I REALLY am, perhaps I am just envious that they are so far ahead of us in line...

I am actually at a point now that I don’t want to tell anybody that I have ANY good news – adoption related or not – whenever I start out with “I have some news” (or something else to that effect) they think we are getting our baby next week. I have explained OVER and OVER that that is NOT the case, but that is what people think anyway. I keep explaining that it is going to be 2008 and NOT any sooner, but...well others in my position know the rest...I know they have good intentions and only want us to be happy but continually saying that next year at this time your baby will be here, or that this is your last ‘babyless’ Christmas is upsetting. I almost want to apologize for not having our baby here sooner...

And just to continue with this rant, why is it when you think you are posting a picture on Blogger and it says ‘DONE’ there is no picture in your template?? Where did it go? Why does it work sometimes and not other times???

O.k. I’m good now, I’m done ranting...