Amazement and Awe

Amazement and Awe – that is what I was feeling.

Today is the RIDE TO CONQUER CANCER. A 200km ride from Toronto to Niagara Falls. To participate, you have to agree to raise $2500 for the ride. If you have not raised the money, you will not be able to ride, or you will have to put the remainder of the money in yourself.

My sister decided last year to take on this challenge. As with most things, she does, there is no half way. It is all or nothing and she goes for the gusto.

Last July when she made the decision that she was going to do take on this challenge, she went out and bought a road bike, special shoes, a helmet, riding clothes, gloves and whatever else she was going to need to do this properly.

She started training and figuring out how to ride with her feet attached to the pedals. She set up a trainer in her basement for the winter so she could still use her bike. While at the same time she was thinking of ways to raise money. She was talking to her friends and family. She was sending e-mails and Facebook messages. She was organizing a garage sale from August 2009 to be held in May 2010. She made flyers, magnets and posters.

She started riding outside again in the spring. She would train on her days off doing rides, learning about hills and building her stamina. She progressively was able to do longer and longer rides.

Today was the test!

This morning at 6:20am, Husband was driving Sister and her friend downtown to the starting line. Their bikes had already been dropped off the night before. There was breakfast, team meetings and the opening ceremonies.

The ride started at 8:30. At about 9:30, Husband, mom and I headed to the ‘cheering station’. It is a part of the route that was designated for ‘cheering’ on the riders. We got there and found a spot at about 9:45am. As we were walking to the edge of the road and the cyclists were pedaling by us in droves, I was in AWE. The sight is something to be seen. It actually brought a tear to my eye as well as mom and Husbands eyes. I think my mouth was agape in amazement. It was really quite a sight seeing all those people peddling away.

We stood there and clapped at every single rider that passed us. There were 4000 people signed up for the ride. FOUR THOUSAND!!!! We stood there for over an hour cheering and clapping and supporting those who chose to do this.

Sister came by the cheering station and I had more tears in my eyes – as I do again as I write this – I am so incredibly proud of her – for so many things – making a decision, sticking to it, following through, going outside of her comfort zone and putting her body through to in the hopes of being able to help those who have been stuck by this terrible disease.

WAY TO GO SISTER!! I have never been so proud of you!!! We will be waiting for you and cheering for you as you cross the finish line!

Really??

You've got to be FRACKING kidding me!!!

There is a website out there - CHINA ADOPTION FORECAST that predicts, based on the previous patterns, when you can expect your referral.

The last batch of referrals - released this week - was for FOUR days. With 229 days from April 21, 2006 (current date they have processed up to) and our LID - the prediction is: MARCH 2015!!!

Only two months ago it was October 2013 - how quickly things can change.

This date means for us:
- An almost 9 year wait for our daughter - at this point in time.
- An extra $6000 (at this point in time) in fees from our agency
- Pretty much NO HOPE left that we will ever see her face
- A brain that just can't process this any more

Time for our thinking caps - do we want to stay in a program that is virtually dead? Do we believe that this will ever happen? Can we mentally keep our heads where they should be to see this through? Do we want to be that age that we will be when and if this ever happens to bring our daughter into our family? How much faith do we put in this website? How much faith do we put in the CCAA that they won't end the program? How much faith do we keep in the CCAA that they MIGHT speed up?

How much longer do we keep this portion of our life on hold for a dream that might never come true?

We are running out of faith quickly...

What Now...

Things just keep getting better and better financially with us over here!!

As you may recall from the previous post, our agency has demanded $1200/year to "maintain" our adoption file. Still a bit sketchy on what they need to do and the number of staff they need to do it but whatever...

And now, the condo that we live in has advised us of a special assessment that is required of each home to fix the water mains in the entire complex. The bill for that is $6000!! per unit.

Husband didn't get a raise this year with the economy and all. We are wanting to move to a new house - still are required to pay the $6000 before we do. Don't know if the move will ever happen now.

Expenses have increased and the money is flying out the window faster than ever before.

Our agency is going to have to wait for their money, else a lien will be placed against my house.

Things suck when you have to choose between a house and a family. However, if there is no house for the family to live in, what is the point?

Sorry for the bitchy post - I am in a bitchy mood!!

You Can't be Serious!!

In January 2006 we began our journey to our daughter from China.

During that time, there have been many ups and downs in relation to our adoption. As time went on, the ‘downs’ significantly outweighed the ups.

A while ago – maybe a year or two – our agency instituted a new fee that they called an ‘administration fee’. They ‘sold’ the fee by saying that things in China were slowing down and they needed the money to develop and look into new programs in international adoption. I was furious. I really don’t care about other programs, I care about MY program. This admin fee was used to keep my file active also. My file is sitting on a shelf in China and has been since December 6, 2006. I honestly don’t know what they are required to do with my file over there.

Whatever…

On Friday afternoon – at 3:38pm, we – and others from our agency – received an e-mail from the board of directors informing us that the ‘admin’ fee has just been increased by 500% to $1200/year – EFFECTIVE MONDAY!!

OH YES!!

SOOO – The cost has increased 500% in the last two years – who is to say that it isn’t going to increase another 500% in the next year or the year after. Who is to say an ADDITIONAL $20,000 later there will be a baby at the end. Who is to say that after our agency has bled us dry we will be afford to travel to China. Who is to say that after this blackmail and if it gets paid, our agency goes bankrupt what then?

I am LIVID – that doesn’t even seem to be the word that fits. With an anticipated five year wait still ahead of us, that is an additional $6000 - at THIS point in time - on an adoption that may or may not even happen!!!

There were no cost cutting measures added or included with the e-mail. No reductions in pay, no 4 day work week, no changing offices to pay less rent, no asking for volunteers instead of paying staff, no NOTHING – well except for the demand for money to cover whatever…

We can’t call and complain either, as they have been instructed (and this started a while ago) to not talk to clients if they get irate – they are told to hang up on us. They apparently don’t have to deal with the problems caused by anything.

So what happens to our file if our agency DOES go under? Anyone know? Right now I am not sure that I care about any of it anyway. Anyone else had additional fees instituted by their agency?

AAGGGHHHH!!!!

Six Years!

Six years ago today I said I DO to the most fantastic man in the world from there I became the luckiest woman in the world!!

We were married on a beach in Cuba and it was perfect. Today we celebrate our 6th anniversary in Florida (last year was Mexico)...I see a trend happening here...

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY H!! You have made me one LUCKY and HAPPY woman!!

I LOVE YOU!!

A New Family!!

Our wonderful friends D&D have become a family!!

They have met their daughter Daphne and we couldn't be more thrilled for them!!

CONGRATULATIONS!!!

3 YEARS!!

WOW!!!

It has been three years since our file landed on a desk in China.

Three years since we thought we were going to have a daughter.

Three years of waiting and hoping.

Three years of meeting WONDERFUL people.

Three years of developing some GREAT friendships.

Three years of disappointment after disappointment.

Three years of every emotion possible.

WOW! Still can't believe it has been three years.

Still can't believe that after three years, we are not even half way there...

Happy three years to Dolores and Shawn too!! We are so lucky to be going through this with you.

EXCITEMENT!!!

Catherine finally has sweet Hannah in her arms!!

I get goosebumps just typing that!!

Hop on over to her blog where there are more pictures and congratulate her!

We are beyond thrilled for this new chapter in her life to start with Hannah!!

Pictures Have Arrived!!!

Pictures are in and there is a beautiful video on Doris and Dan's blog of their DAUGHTER!!!

Pop on over and take a look...have a tissue on hand.

I Remember...

I remember when I used to think that blogging was one of the best things ever.

I remember when I used to walk around thinking and composing blog posts in my head all day.

I remember when I used to plan things that I could blog about.

I remember when I thought that I was actually going to get a daughter from China.

I remember when I was so excited thinking about the impeding referral of our daughter.

I remember when I wanted to stay home all day and read adoption blogs.

I remember when I believed what our agency told us.

I remember when I this blog held MUCHO importance to me.

I remember when I was not so cynical about the whole process.

I remember when Dolores and I would talk about our trip to China together to bring home our daughters.

I remember when I was so naïve about adoption related things.

I remember when our agency told us we would have our daughter in summer 2007.

I remember when our agency told us we would have our daughter by the end of 2008.

I remember when our agency told us we would have our daughter by 2010.

I remember the day our agency told us not to expect a referral before 2015.

I remember the moment I lost all faith in our adoption.

34 Month LID

Today is our 34 month LID. I forgot...again...

However, as Dolores and I were driving back from K1's today after some super twin goodness, we were chatting and Dolores suddenly remembered about our LID anniversary.

We already had dinner plans together tonight so we raised our glasses to 34 months. It was GREAT to be able to 'celebrate' with them...

Brownies

This afternoon we are going to a friends house for a gathering. It is a pot luck. Among other things, we are bringing dessert. Part of that dessert is brownies. I was in the kitchen and I prepared the brownies and put them in the oven. I then puttered about and did some other things while they were baking. Gathered other things that we needed.

I don't like to venture too far away from the oven or the timer when I am baking. I have been known to go upstairs and putter and then not hear the timer and forget all about what I was making.

So I was on the main floor and the timer went. I proceeded to the kitchen and opened the oven, had on my oven mitts and pulled the brownies out of the oven.

They were jiggly. Brownies shouldn't be jiggly. That is a bad sign.

I then really looked at the brownies and not only were they jiggly, they were totally uncooked.

I forgot to turn on the oven...

Oooppss...

So now I am still here on the main floor, waiting for the brownies - in the turned ON oven - to bake. We are supposed to leave at 2:00...I am not thinking that that is going to happen!

33 Month LID

Well Sunday was our 33 month LID. I forgot...

I read about it on Dolores and Shawn's blog.

Then I forgot about it again.

Now I remembered and thought it was a good excuse to do a blog post.

On the down side, we received a notification from our agency stating that with the lengthening time lines, and if things continue as they are, we can expect a referral in the later part of 2015!!

Oh yes I did write 2015!! That would be a 9 year wait. 9 years when we signed up for 18 months.

Whatever...

On the positive side, we should BE with Dolores and Shawn for our next one!!!

Work vs. Personal

Last week at work, I received an e-mail from a business associate. This associate is NOT someone that I have ever met in person. In actuality, this was the first correspondence that I have ever had with her.

The e-mail was in response to a business question that I was asking.

Her response back to me was signed off with “Have a Blessed Day”.

What people choose to say or not say in their personal e-mails is their business. However, I don’t feel that this was an appropriate sign off for business correspondence.

Thoughts?

EXCITEMENT!!!

Please join me in congratulating Catherine. She has received her referral for her little Hannah!

She is a MOMMY!!!

Pop by her blog and share your excitement!!

Happy Birthday Dolores!

Happy Birthday to Dolores!!

Today is her special day for a special lady!!

We are so lucky to have you in our lives!

Can't wait to see you again soon!!!!!

Head on over to her blog and wish her a great day.

The graphics are courtesy of Doris as I pinched it from her blog...

Apparently Doris pinched it from K1 blog last year...Thanks K1

I then stored the image and brought it out again!! This is one of my favourite pictures of Dolores.

I am really going to learn to do all this stuff one of these days...

Today is the day!

The above cake is courtesy of my sister. She came over tonight with the cake and a present!

Cake was GREAT and the present was perfect!!

Thank you to everyone who sent their birthday wishes through phone calls, blogs, Facebook, e-mails and cards. They are all very appreciated.

Tonight Mark and I enjoyed a lovely dinner out. Now I am so full I have to try and keep my eyes open!

Happy Day to everyone!!

99 Things

Pinched this off K1's blog.

Here are the rules:
Bold (since I can't "bold", the ones I have done are GREEN) the things you’ve done and post this list on your blog then leave me a comment and tell me you did this I can go see. I bet this has gone around the blog world already, so if you've done it, let me know.

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyworld
8. Kissed a stranger at midnight on New Year’s Eve
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Written something that was published
11. Bungee jumped or parachuted
12. Walked across the Golden Gate Bridge
13. Been in a fist fight
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Seen the Rings of Saturn with a telescope
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when not ill
24. Built a tree house or snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Fired a gun
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Visited the Leaning Tower of Pisa
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal
44. Visited Africa
45. Cried yourself to sleep
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Visited the Eiffel Tower
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Pretended you cooked something from scratch when you didn't
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie or commercial
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold something door to door
62. Gone whale or dolphin watching
64. Donated blood, marrow, etc
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Held onto a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten frog legs or caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Time Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Done something illegal
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Sang a solo
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Climbed a mountain
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had surgery
89. Directly saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Seen a loved one die
94. Given birth to a baby
95. Visited the Alamo
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Sent a text message while driving
99. Been stung by a bee


54 bolded or made GREEN - I am impressed!! I can't say that I even want to do all of them, but there are a few on there that I would be willing to do/experience.

Good or Bad?

Yesterday was our 32nd month LID Anniversary.

I forgot - TOTALLY forgot. Not until I was reading Dolores and Shawn's blog did I even realize that yesterday was the day.

I have been thinking about it. I am not sure if forgetting our LID anniversary is a good thing or a bad thing.

I will have to ponder muchly about it and well hey - I have about 60 more to go so missing one or two along the way shouldn't be a big deal.

WHOO HOO - we (after almost 3 years) are 1/3 of the way there!!

Apparently I am a bit bitter tonight!

Excitement!!!

There is some INCREDIBLE news to share!!

Go HERE and share in their joy!!

We are beyond happy for them and are most excited for K1 and K2 to welcome K3 & K4!

I have goosebumps just thinking about it!

It couldn't have happened to nicer people and we wish them all the happiness in the world!