First off - what is wrong with me doing two posts in two days...
Anyway - there are so many of us waiting for our children from China. None of us has expected the HUGE wait that we have/had before us.
I am just wondering if people out there have wavered. Have you had a date in your head that if you don't receive a referral by a certain date that you are pulling out.
What about a certain age of yourselves? If you don't receive a referral when you reach a certain age will you withdraw?
What about your current family situation? Do you already have children? Does that make the wait easier or harder? Does it make you want to pull out or stay in?
We are looking at an additional 5 year wait from NOW - unless something drastically changes - for our daughter from China. This is certainly NOT what we signed up for.
Would you - if able - pursue a concurrent adoption and have your child from China be the second child instead of the first child?
I just have so much rambling on in my head right now.
9 comments:
Hi Michelle,
After much thought and deliberation my husband and I pulled out of the China program in the summer. We then applied to become foster parents with the CAS in the fall of 2008. After taking their courses, doing a whole new homestudy, new police check, new medical etc we are so happy that we have been accepted as the foster parents to a beautiful baby girl. She's 2 weeks old and should be coming home towards the end of next week. Not to get our hopes up too much but there is a chance that we will be able to adopt her.
Hopefully with us pulling out it will put you forward a little bit more than expected. I know of at least one other family in the mommies in waiting dinner group that has also pulled out.
I hope your wait goes extremely fast.
Take care Paula
For us, we will wait as long as it takes. We would do a concurrent in a heartbeat!
Keep smilin!
Close now but even when I was far out I was willing to wait as long as it took.
Totally understand though that each family does what is best for them. Cool news about Paula! Often wondered what had happened with you.
My DH and I were logged in 11-17-06 and we decided to pull out last year. The wait time increase and the potential cost for us was far to great. As much as I greive everyday I have to think positive. We just could not continue it was literally hurting us... We are currently enrolled in our state foster care system and are looking forward to having our first placement by June at the latest. I am anxious and looking forward to helping out as many girls as I can.. and if our forever child comes to us this way the better. From what the DHS workers have told us ALOT of the children that come through get put up for adoption so our odds are high. I hope that you can make whatever decision is best for you two.
Suzanne
I think about dropping out almost every single day.
Does that make me a bad person or prospective parent? Maybe. Sometimes I feel like it does.
My husband won't even entertain the thought of dropping out. That's probably why we are still in.
I told myself if we didn't have a child by the time I was forty then we just wouldn't have them at all. That will be in 26 months. I guess we'll just have to see what happens.
I would do a concurrent adoption in a heartbeat, if my husband had a job and we had the money.
But we don't.
So for now we are stuck in a state of limbo and some days it really sucks.
One of the only things keeping me going right now is knowing that we are not alone.
As you know, we were lucky and were able to do a concurrent though our agency didn't let any other family do it. We were in the right place at the right time and it worked out for us. Yes the wait is a little bit easier but I find that as we get closer, my anxiety is ramping up again. I'm starting to have knots in my stomach again.
If we weren't within a year, we'd be having some very serious conversations about whether or not to pull out, to look at other options or if we'd be just a family of three. I'm glad we don't have to go there. I've always wanted more than one kid and I've always known in my heart that one of those kids would be a daughter.
I feel for those with a later LID. The situation sucks royally and families having to give up their dreams isn't right. There are so many people in this world that have kids they don't want, those of us that really want them should be able to.
When we first decided to adopt from China, the wait was about nine months, but we weren't thirty yet, so our LID is May 2008. We will probably wait 6 years or more. We are keeping our dossier in China while we pursue a concurrent adoption from Taiwan, and we are hoping for a referral before the end of summer.
Doing this as a single mom, I've decided that one child will be it for me (unless some miracle happens and I hit the lottery. LOL) Since there are very few options in other programs as a single, I'm staying put no matter how long it takes.
But I think I would choose to stay put even if I did have other options. I've imagined my daughter as Chinese for the last 3 yrs... I can't see her any other way.
Given the chance, I would have done a concurrent in a hot second.
Now that my girl is just home only time will tell if there will be a second someday. Had I been able to do a concurrent I KNOW there would have been the China adoption still.
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