I have really slacked off on posting lately. There are many reasons for this...We have been busy - that is really not a reason - we are and have always been an incredibly busy couple. We are so lucky to have so many great friends and family that we are always on the go.
Another reason for the lack of posts is that there is really nothing to say...I am sure, as readers, you only want to read and see pictures of our friends and family so much and it is really not exciting to you. You are looking for something with substance and meaning or something funny and entertaining. Sometimes I just don't have it in me to post stuff when there is not substance to it. I am also one of the LEAST creative people that I know and I can't just whip off a thought provoking post or a really funny well written post either. I am MUCH better at communicating in person rather then the written word.
This blog is supposed to be about our adoption journey - well we are certainly taking the slow boat to China and things are progressing at a snails pace. There is nothing to report on the adoption front. Nothing is happening. I don't know when something will happen. No we will not get our baby before summer or Christmas. We probably wont get our baby before NEXT summer or Christmas. We are HOPING to get our baby for summer 2009!!! YES 2009! No I am not kidding. Yes I am serious. No there is nothing I can do to speed it up. Yes we're sure this is what we want. No we can't pursue two adoptions at the same time. Yes we would like a speed up. No there probably won't be a speed up. Yes the wait will continue to grow. No I don't have any new news.
Other reasons for the lack of posts is that I feel censored on this blog. I don't really say what I want to all the time. There are things that REALLY irritate me and thoughts I would love to express about this whole process that I can't voice in an open forum like this. I do worry about the 'blog police'. Even if I went password protected, there are things that I still wouldn't post about. These are things that I can only share with a select few and that I wouldn't be willing for those thoughts to be put on paper as I would fear the repercussions of those words. So as much as this is a journal of our adoption, our wait and our thoughts - this is a edited edition of the live version.
So there you have it - a little snippet of what is going on in my head these days. I am going to try to post more often, but if I don't I don't. Rest assured when there is "something to report" about the baby - I will post it here and you will hear about it - until that time, things might be a bit sporadic...
17 comments:
You are not alone in these thoughts, Michelle. We all censor and only give snippets of our lives here on these blogs because to give everything over would be putting ourselves into harm's way. What I think we should do is get this printed on tshirts and wear it everyday:
"Nothing is happening. I don't know when something will happen. No we will not get our baby before summer or Christmas. We probably wont get our baby before NEXT summer or Christmas. We are HOPING to get our baby for summer 2009!!! YES 2009! No I am not kidding. Yes I am serious. No there is nothing I can do to speed it up. Yes we're sure this is what we want. No we can't pursue two adoptions at the same time. Yes we would like a speed up. No there probably won't be a speed up. Yes the wait will continue to grow. No I don't have any new news."
I love it!
I think it's funny that you say you are so much better in person than in writing and I feel the exact opposite. I am painfuly shy face to face and feel better sharing through writing. I guess it is what makes us all interesting.
I was thinking the same thing about getting a t-shirt with that on it! Or maybe a big honking tattoo!
We are all wary of what we say and I edit myself. Posting what I did yesterday left me feeling nervy but I did it as it is what I am feeling. Sometimes I got nothing...i.e. reason for so many pictures! Other times I can not collect my thoughts to write them out. I am a chatterbox IRL. But I sometimes run out of steam for blogging and even for my own personal journal. How many times can I write the same thing over and over? I say, write what you are thinking and feeling. Edit it to a point but this is your space in cyberspace. Use it the way you want to.
Keep smilin!
I agree, I edit what I say not really sure who is "listening" so to speak.
I want one of those t-shirts!!!! LOL
This blog is for you. You use it as a tool to accomplish whatever your reasons are for putting it here in the first place. If you don't feel like posting, don't feel pressured. I come by every day to see what's happening with you and if there isn't a post, that doesn't bother me in the least. I'll still keep on coming by to check on you.
I post what is on my mind, but I do watch my language and there are certain topics I won't discuss. I have heard of people having issues based on things they have put on their blogs, so I am careful.
Love the way you put it! You've summed up the next 2 years of our lives in 1 paragraph! :o) Good job!
Post what ya want, when ya want friend. We'll read what you do and not question what you don't. Do we censor ourselves? Yup...and we should. Trust me, there is much others just don't need to know.
Have a great, sunny, warm weekend!!
Beth -thanks for leaving a comment, but I can't get to your blog...can you e-mail me.
Sign me up for a t-shirt, bumper sticker, and huge balloon.
I'm with you.
Cari
It's so funny how we have to be so open to get to the point of LID what with forms, questions, social workers etc etc yet on our blogs we keep our guards up. It's like being cuaght off gaurd with your knickers down.
Write what you want when you want I'm still going to read it. :)
Hi Michelle,
A blog is a complicated thing. Some people do it as a 'memory' album of sorts for their child(ren) and all the fan fare that goes with it. Some use it to vent and swear and heaven knows what else. I read those kind of posts too. I read some because they are soft and sincere, others because they are jaded and hostile. Mine falls somewhere in between. Your blog can be censored, or open. Either way, the people who care to read will continue, and the offended should leave. Never underestimate how powerful it is to be the 'first' to admit hard feelings and emotions on a blog. I should know. You soon find out you are NOT alone. Never try to be anything that you are not already. I for one will still keep tabs on your journey regardless. Each post brings you one step closer to Pumpkin and discovering yourself.
Warmest,
Senja (not one sarcastic statement...that was hard)
Michelle, I totally undertand how hard it gets to blog about nothing. I would like to buy one of those t-shirts as well!!
I sensor myself in a very small way. I say if you don't like my blog, don't come back. I sensor it more for family...yikes! But I totally understand your thoughts on that. Let's hope things just speed up a whole bunch and your pumpkin is coming home sooner than later.
Order me a shirt like that too! And on the back write..."WAITING SUCKS!" :-)
I DEFINITELY censor my blog. I don't say anything NEAR what I would like to because so many different people read it. I think it would be very liberating to be able to say what I want, but I'm sure I would offend most the people most the time! :-)
Have you been in my head? I've been thinking the exact same thing lately. You've really hit the nail on the head. And you do express yourself very well in written format as well as you do in person.
Well..everyone has pretty much beat me to what I wanted to say.
I'm not going anywhere and well, as for my blog, I am perfectly comfortable being inane enough to blog about nothing ;0)
BTW: I'll hold your hair for you anytime you feel sick. Let's just make sure we have a huge can ;0)
We have to censor ourselves because this is a written, public forum. I never put things in writing that I dont want to get back to someone else.
I hate to say it, but I am thinking WE will be getting our kid in summer of 2009 (if we stick with it). Use your blog to blab about the world. Or chill for a while. There is no requirement of adoption that says you have to blog. Stop if you want to.
I second Kathy and Joel. We all temper what we post, it's unfortunate, but like you, I think it's necessary.
Here's to rowing that slow boat to China. At least we're all rowing it together!
Hey Michelle you could fund your whole adoption with those t-shirts! You really hit the nail on the head!
I know what you mean about struggling at times to post. Many days it's just like "I don't really have anything to say".
Michelle, Believe it or not, I too censor what I write - it just doesn't seem like it. I also understand the "not wanting to post about nothing" feeling, which is why sometimes I take a few weeks off, and then I find I have tons to blog about and I pick right back up where I left off.
But please don't stop blogging... :)
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